My fingers are itching like crazy

And my mind wanders away, to far away places. There are so many things exploding in my head, that I am physically cannot handle it. Feel like saying a lot of things, but I am not sure what are the words that I want. I feel as if I am exploding, and trying to contain myself. I want to be weak, and I want to be strong, and I am not able to decide. I want to be forgiving, but I want to be not stupid again. I feel numb. I feel everything to stop, I want everybody to go away. I need time to even absorb all the things going on.